I don’t own
AN: So, I
This is set right before the scene where it’s the day after Mitchie’s secret is revealed and delves into Shane’s thoughts before going to teach his class and seeing her sitting in a corner there. And I really was going to end it there, but my imagination had other things in mind. So, it went on and I hope you like it.
He raced across the camp in an attempt to get to his class on time. If he was late, his Uncle would probably dump more water on him, but it wasn’t exactly his fault that he’d overslept this time. It was hers. It was her fault that he’d been up all night thinking about her, the time they’d spent together, the feelings he now knew he had for her, and the betrayal that had been brought to light yesterday.
His heart constricted painfully at the thought of yesterday, words rushing back to him almost instantly, yelling, hurt, the look in Mitchie’s eyes as he’d reamed her out in front of the entire camp. He shuddered as he ran, he was furious with her for lying, couldn’t even begin to describe the feelings that had coursed through his body even at this very moment when he thought of her and the lies she’d let everyone, and more importantly, himself, believe all summer.
He’d thought she liked him for him, but no, she was just like everyone else, and he knew that he needed to get over her. The sooner he did that the better it would be for his peace of mind, and more importantly his heart. But, he found that getting over her was proving to be damn near impossible because when it came to Mitchie, he’d discovered that she’d already made a lasting impression on him. Her smile was stuck in his thoughts, her laughter in his ears, and ever since yesterday, the broken look on her face was stuck in his mind.
Shane didn’t know why it affected him to see the pain there, she’d deserved it after what she’d done to everyone, but it had disturbed him in more ways than he could count. The look of undeniable suffering in her eyes had haunted him all throughout the night. He hadn’t been able to get to sleep because it lingered there and he felt guilty because he knew that he was part of putting the pain there. He still thought Mitchie had the face of an angel, and angels didn’t need to have tears in their eyes. Angels should be happy, Mitchie should be happy, and yesterday she’d looked broken beyond all repair. And oh how he wanted to be the one to fix her. But he couldn’t because she’d lied to him, she’d crushed him, and now he had to get her out of his mind.
He knew that that task would be almost impossible but he had to try, he still had a class to teach today, a final jam to prepare for, a lot to do, so getting Mitchie out of his mind should be easy for today. Tonight would be a different story, but right now he could forget her, he could focus and let everything else happen when he was lying in bed later, unable to think of anything but her.
He sighed in relief as he got to the cabin where his class was held. Somehow he’d managed to get here on time and he could now look forward to not thinking about Mitchie. Shane was certain that she’d skip class today after what had happened yesterday, and while it pained him to think that she might be tucked away somewhere crying her eyes out, he thought this was for the best. He wasn’t ready to see her and he doubted anyone in camp, aside from Caitlin, would want that either.
So it was with some relief that he bounded up the steps and opened the door, only to find the breath being knocked of him. Sitting alone in a corner amidst the now silent class was Mitchie, bathed in sunlight and looking like a goddess personified. Shane couldn’t think, hell he could barely breath right now. She wasn’t supposed to be here, he’d thought she’d be smart and skip today, after all who would want to put up with the looks she was getting from everyone around her?
God he had to
get a grip on himself, it was not like Shane Grey to get caught up on a girl so
easily. Then again, no girl had ever touched him like Mitchie
had, but he had to stop. He was in class and so was she, here she was a
student, and he had to put on an act, he couldn’t let her think they still had
a chance with the other. So he took a breath and slammed the door, getting
everyone’s attention away from Mitchie and onto
Good, at least she won’t have to deal with those glares. He thought to himself and almost immediately cut himself off, he couldn’t care like this, and he shouldn’t care like this. Yes, he still had feelings for her but to get rid of those feelings he had to stop caring about her. Meaning he had to stop staring at her, but he couldn’t, she was too beautiful, sitting there in the sunlight, looking so lost and confused. God, he wanted to kick everyone else out of this room right now, rush to her and make the pain that was now etched on her face go away.
But he couldn’t. He had a class to teach and in all honesty Mitchie looked like she wanted anything but attention right now. He didn’t like the way she looked, pale, tired, and miserable so perhaps he could do something to take eyes off of her. Shane didn’t know why he cared so much, she’d lied to him, to everyone, she deserved this, but he just couldn’t stand seeing the pain in her eyes.
Taking a breath, he managed to pull his eyes away from Mitchie’s and turned towards the class, plastering a smile on his face in the process. “Take a seat guys,” he began, not even knowing what he was going to say, but knowing that it had to hold their attention. And for once, he was glad he was famous because they were paying attention to him.
“Now I know you’re all excited about Final Jam,” he began, but honestly he had no idea what he was saying after that. He’d let his gaze wander back to the girl sitting in the corner of the room, their eyes met and he felt his heart jump. God he wanted to hold her in his arms, tell her it was all ok, he really just wanted. But he couldn’t have her, no matter how much he still wanted her he just couldn’t do it.
So he kept talking to his class, but his eyes stayed on her face. As much as he wanted to stop staring at her, he just couldn’t. He just had to look at and examine everything about her and upon doing so, he found himself inwardly frowning. Aside from the obvious pain on her face, there were circles under her eyes to accompany the paleness of her skin. He didn’t like that. It meant she hadn’t slept, it meant she was probably doing even worse than he was and he really didn’t like that. He was wondering if he could convince Caitlyn to do anything to help her when he stopped. Mitchie Torres was looking at him with tears in her eyes and he immediately decided that was a sight that he absolutely hated.
His heart was breaking all over again as he stopped speaking and just looked at her, trying to hold himself together, thank god he was good at pulling of an image. He somehow managed to keep himself in check and finished speaking to the class.
“You’re music has to be representation of who you are.” He panicked as the last words rang out because the tears in Mitchie’s eyes actually started to fall and he cursed himself. God he had it bad for her and there was absolutely no denying it to his heart any longer. He had to talk to her, he wanted to make things right, he wanted to stop her from crying, again he just wanted and maybe just maybe now he could have. Seeing her like this was tearing him up and if he was ever going to be sane again he had to do something about it.
But before he could even say something to anyone in the class Mitchie was standing up and bolting out the door and he was actually grateful that she’d done it. This gave him the most perfect excuse in the entire world to go and find her, because he had to clear things up with her. He wanted to understand why she’d lied and how she felt about him.
“What a loser.” Tess Tyler’s voice snapped Shane out of his musings and almost immediately into action; he quickly began walking towards the door, stopping only once to address the class.
“Class is cancelled for today. Go work on your Final Jam performances. I’m going to find Ms. Torres.”
“But why?” Tess asked, her eyes glaring out the door and towards the direction Mitchie had run. “She’s nothing but a fake, a poser and you’re going to find her? I wouldn’t.”
“Well Tess, you aren’t a counselor here are you? I need to go find her. You need to go get ready for Final Jam. End of story,” Shane said rather harshly before heading out the door, leaving his class to fend for themselves for the moment.
Shane slammed the door shut as he hurried down the steps, he needed to go and find Mitchie before this entire situation got any worse between them. Taking a breath he hurried towards the path he’d seen her take, unsure of where she’d been heading until he actually saw her. She was sitting on the dock, their dock, and the place where they’d first met, where he’d found himself changing, all because of her. It was also the place where he’d serenaded her with his new inspiration.
It was special to him, and now it was apparent that it meant something to her too. She was sitting there on the edge, arms curled around her knees, head resting there, rocking slowly back and forth. He slowed himself down as he watched her, not wanting to alert her to his presence just yet. Shane didn’t want her to have a chance to runaway from him, and he really liked watching her move. Even sitting down she was graceful, moving in time with the water, his breathing stopped when he got just inches from her, he could hear her trying to muffle her sobs and his heart broke.
He couldn’t stand this anymore, he wanted to comfort her, and he wanted to be with her, he just wanted Mitchie Torres. He couldn’t help himself, she was his reason for changing, and his reason for becoming the person he was before all this pop star madness had gone to his head. He wanted to help her, he would help her, he had to help her, and again, he wanted to help her. He wanted her.
He crept the last few paces to her until he finally set himself beside her. He said nothing as he just evaluated the best way to get her to realize he was here. He knew words would only cause her to run, so after minutes of deliberation, he finally settled on just reaching a cautious hand and settling it on her back. He felt her jump at the contact and her head immediately swung around to meet his steady gaze. The tears were still running down Mitchie’s face as they stared at each other, both unsure of what to do for many minutes.
But something changed, and what happened next, Shane Grey was not prepared for at all. Mitchie Torres literally launched herself into his arms and buried her face against his chest and began mumbling and crying all at the same time.
“Shane..so..sorry, didn’t mean to…sorry,” she gasped out as she tried to stop herself from crying. Shane was in shock, this was something he’d never had to deal with before, crying girls had never sobbed their hearts out to him, and now the girl in his heart was doing so. He really was out of his realm of comfort but hadn’t this been what he’d wanted back in the cabin?
Then he’d wanted to hold her and make everything all right. He’d wanted her to be in his arms and he wanted them both to be happy. Right now he had an opportunity to make it better, to have her right there in his arms, and to make them both happy. He could do that. he could make this right. He had to because he wanted to. So for once he let his heart override his mind, let it guide his every action, because his heart would be the one thing to get him what he wanted.
His arms slowly found their way around Mitchie’s now shaking body and held her to him, he let her cry, he didn’t say a word, just let his cheek rest against the top of her head. Shane managed to move her into his lap and almost immediately Mitchie curled into his embrace. Once again he said nothing, just let her cry against his shirt, held her, tried to keep her from hyperventilating everytime she tried to speak.
“I’m so sorry,” he heard mumbled once more, and this time instead of doing nothing he pressed a kiss to the top of Mitchie’s head. He wanted to say something to her but he didn’t trust himself right now, he needed to hear her talk before he could even begin to think of anything to say to her. The shaking had stopped by then, and the sobs had ebbed, only giving way to tears. He heard her take a breath against him and felt a soft hand against his cheek, he leaned into the touch and felt his gaze being guided downwards to meet Mitchie’s red eyes.
She looked so broken there, but he’d rather that than crying, hearing her cry was heart shattering, he hated it and was determined to not let it happen anytime soon. At least with her looking broken he could help her pick up the pieces.
“Shane..I-I…it…I didn’t meant to hurt you,” she said softly, an odd determination setting into her eyes.
“Mitch-” he began only to be shushed by her.
“Please, don’t say anything yet. I…this…it needs to be said before I lose the courage to say it,” she silently requested, pleading with her eyes. He thought about this for a moment and decided that this was another thing he’d wanted; answers from her, an explanation and he was about to get it. He nodded then and relaxed a little, trying to show that he was ready to listen.
“Go on,” he added as an encourager. Shane watched Mitchie take a breath and glance out at the lake, silence around them for a few precious moments before she began to talk.
“I’ve never been a liar,” she admitted. “I don’t even like lying. I think it’s wrong and stupid and now I hate it even more than I did before this whole mess happened,” she began, taking another breath before continuing. “But I lied to fit in. I’ve never been a part of the “in” crowd. Heck, I’m not even apart of the out crowd at my school. I have exactly one friend and no one ever seems to want to change that quota.” He heard her voice crack at that and immediately moved a hand along her arm, trying to comfort her, wanting so badly to make it better but knowing he couldn’t until she finished.
“So, when I came here, I thought it would be different. I thought I’d get to be the real me. I thought that people would accept me for me and actually want to be my friend-”
He had to interrupt that statement with one of his own, she had to know there were people at this camp that did like her for her. “Mitchie, people do like you for-”
“Shush, I asked you to be quiet,” she replied, looking back up at him. “And I know that. Caitlyn reminded my of that constantly last night thank you very much. But when I got here and saw how talented everyone is, how much everyone had, I freaked myself out. So I lied to Tess because I wanted to be someone here. I wanted to know what it felt like to be popular,” she paused to take another breath and let her gaze wander back out to the lake.
“So I made up that stupid lie about my mother, and somehow it got spread all around Camp. It even reached your Pop Star ears before I could stop it. And for once, people seemed to like me, they wanted to hang out with me, wanted to talk to me, so I let it keep going. I should have ended it, but I liked being a part of a group, but along the way I lost myself.” Shane glanced down at her then and saw a few tears making their way down her cheeks, without hesitation he cupped her cheek and gently wiped them away with his thumb. Mitchie surprised him by cuddling into his hand; closing her eyes and just letting the moment wash over them before speaking again.
“What I said about keeping up an image was completely true, it was exhausting and it hurt because I wasn’t being me except-except around three people; my mother, Caitlyn, and you,” she said softly. “Caitlyn found out about my secret a while ago, but she kept it for some reason, she got to know the real me, she’s a really good person,” Mitchie mused to herself. “And my mom is, well, she’s my mom, I don’t have to pretend around her at all. So, that leaves you Mr. Pop Star. I was always me around you.”
Shane’s breathing stopped for what had to be the millionth time that day as he looked down at her. Yes she’d told a lie, put on an act, but when she looked up at him, he saw an absolute truth in her eyes that made him giddy. He wanted to say something to her right then and there but he stopped himself, feeling she still had more to say.
“I never acted like someone I wasn’t. I was always just plain old Mitchie with you because you were plain old Shane with me. I liked that about us. I still do. I loved the fact that we could be ourselves and we both seemed to like it. And I know that it was wrong of my not to tell you, but it never seemed to matter with us. You only brought it up once in the canoe and well, you know what happened after that,” she finished softly, leaning against him as he tightened his hold on her.
“I was crushed last night, not because my secret got revealed, not because my ‘cushy’ existence in this camp was over, but because of the way you reacted. The look in your eyes, the words you said, they killed me inside.” Mitchie’s voice cracked and once again Shane was holding her to him, letting his hands rub her arms, not wanting to see her cry again. “I-I need you to k-know that I n-never ever meant to hurt you Shane. That I didn’t want to know you because you’re Shane Grey the Pop Star, I wanted to know you because you were Shane Grey, an incredibly talented, nice guy that gave me the time of day.”
She stopped then and let out a breath before moving against him, trying to push herself up from his lap. Shane frowned at the action and tightened his hold on her, not willing to let her leave his embrace.
“Shane?” she looked up at him, confusion lacing her features. “I’m alright now. I promise. Thanks for hearing me out. I’ll leave now.” Mitchie tried once more to move and once again found herself being held to him. Shane wasn’t about to let her leave before he could talk to her, he’d heard her side of the story and things made so much more sense now. Was he still angry? Yes, but anger could be absolved, he wanted to forgive her and he could, in fact he was fairly confident that he already had done so. He had to because the girl in his arms meant something more than just a friendship, he didn’t think it was love, yet, but it was heading there. He was falling for her all over again and he refused to let her get away now.
“Who said I wanted you to leave?” he asked as he looked down at her, the confusion on her face growing by the word.
“I thought that, well, after yesterday-”
“That was yesterday, this is now. And I have something to say. I listened to you and now you’re going to listen to me alright?” She nodded then and settled herself against him, leaning into him as he let a finger trail up her arm and up to her face, imprinting the feel of her soft skin into his memory. He looked into her eyes and spoke softly, hoping to convey what he was feeling into words.
“You caught my eye from that first meeting Mitchie. You weren’t just a plain old girl to me, you were beautiful, kind, and you didn’t get caught up in the Pop Star persona that everyone else was doing. You didn’t take any of my crap and you challenged me when you were around. I liked that. I liked that a lot,” he said, pausing only to breath. “I think it all started that first day, me feelings. You hooked me with your personality, and then clinched it with your laugh. I thought it was the most musical sound in the world.”
“Shush, my turn now ok?” he teased as she just nodded and focused herself on his gaze. “I found myself thinking about you all the time, wanting to be with you because you helped inspire me. You helped me get myself back. And with you I could be plain old Shane Grey and you liked me. I really liked that about you,” he paused then and took a breath. “And then yesterday, yesterday crushed me. Hearing that you’d lied, it just, it killed me Mitchie. I’d opened up to you and I thought you’d betrayed me because you were faking.”
“But, after I stormed off yesterday I found that the only thing I could think about was you. About how much I’d liked you, about how I needed to get over you, about how I should hate you. I think I did hate you for about three minutes,” he confessed, taking his gaze away from her and out to the lake. “But you know what I found out?”
“Hmm?” she asked, relaxing against him even more.
“That you Mitchie Torres are impossible to hate,” he answered. “Because you see by this morning I’d convinced myself to get over you, that you weren’t worth it, but the thing is, I couldn’t do it. I still found myself wanting to touch you, wanting to hold you, just wanting you in every way possible. And when you left class today, I followed because I wanted to,” he said passionately.
“It wasn’t because I had to, but because I wanted to make everything alright with us and because I hated being mad at you,” he confessed quietly, turning his gaze back to hers. “I hated being mad at you because it hurts to be mad someone you really care about. And I really care about you.”
He stopped after that and let everything he’d just said sink in, Mitchie was looking at him, shock in her eyes, and from what he could tell a smile wanting to form on her face. He felt a smile begin to form on his own lips but paused it when she began talking.
“But what about my lying? And you being mad?”
He chuckled and shook his head. “Silly girl, didn’t you hear what I just said? I was angry but I’m not anymore. Am I still hurt? Yes, but I’m sure that I can think of several ways in which you can make it go away,” he teased. “And you’ve told me the truth now, I believe you. I want to start over Mitchie because this feels too right. I don’t want to give it up.”
“Start over?” she asked, a smile now cracking her face as Shane just smiled and leaned down to press a kiss to her forehead.
“Yep, start over. And we’re going to. As in, we’re going to head back to my cabin and talk, play twenty questions, and be with each other because I want to know everything there is to know about plain old Mitchie Torres because to me, she’s fascinating.”
“Well I like the sound of that because I want to know all about Shane Grey too, the one I know, and not the one the world knows. I like my Shane better,” she giggled and his heart leaped at the sound.
“I like the sound of that. I’ll be your Shane if you’ll be my Mitchie,” he tempted and she laughed and nodded. “I mean it Mitch. I want you to be mine, because I like you, because I really like you, because I think I may be falling in love with you, and more importantly because I want you to be mine.”
“I want you to be mine too,” she replied softly, shyly looking away from him. “I know I’m falling in love with you. And I want the chance to be with you because I want to be with you, Shane Grey, my Shane.”
“What the lady wants, the lady gets,” he replied slowly as he leaned in, his lips hovering just inches from her own. Slowly, hesitantly, he pressed them to hers, and Shane Grey could safely say that this kiss was one of if not the best kiss he’d ever shared with someone. One because he wanted it, two because she wanted it, and three because He finally got what he wanted, Mitchie Torres, the girl who had captivated his heart from day one.
AN: Well there ya go, my first and definitely not the last adventure into the amazingness that is Smitchie. I’m really tempted to do a sequel to this. If you guys would like to see it, let me know. Anyways, thanks for reading and please review.