Mmmk if I owned
AN: So I seem to be getting inspired by Taylor Swift a lot lately. Or rather just some really great country songs in general. This particular story was inspired by an amazing Taylor Swift song called “The Way I Loved you”. It’s from her new album which is just amazing and I really thought Smitchie when I listened. So I wrote this and hope you enjoy it. It’s a two shot so be on the lookout for part deux coming at you soon.
But I miss screaming and fighting
And Kissing in the Rain
And it’s two a.m and I’m cursing your name
~Taylor Swift, The Way I Loved You
Two in the morning; a time when the world was at peace and most importantly the people in it were as well. It was a time when most people were fast asleep dreaming happy dreams, a time when most people’s mind were settled and at peace, two in the morning should be peaceful because that’s the way the world was for a few brief hours. Two in the morning was not a time for being up, restless, and completely unable to be at peace with oneself. But for one Mitchie Torres that was exactly the case. It was two in the morning and instead of being asleep like she should be, she was tossing and turning in bed, her mind anything but restful. In fact when she took one look at the clock and its glaring red numbers Mitchie finally gave up on even trying to sleep and sat up, hitting the bed sheets in the process.
“Not again,” she muttered to the dark room.
She sighed as she glanced at the alarm clock yet again and saw that it was indeed two in the morning and there really was no hope of her getting any sleep tonight and she hated it. No, correction she hated what she was thinking about, or rather who. It was his entire fault that she wasn’t sleeping, all his fault that she was so miserable at the moment. No, it was his fault that she’d been miserable for the past few months and god how she hated it.
Mitchie sighed as she took another look at the bright red numbers on the alarm clock and decided that there was no point in staying in her bed if she wasn’t going to sleep. So with very little effort she pushed her comforter away from her body and climbed out of her bed. Slowly, she walked over to the window on the far side of the room and pushed her dark green curtain back just a bit, enough to see a starry sky and moonlit night. Everything was so peaceful out in the world right now and she just wasn’t. She hated it. Hated nights like this, the nights when she’d think of him and only him. He’d invade her thoughts and just stay in there until she somehow chased them away.
And the sad part about it all was that a lot of the time Mitchie didn’t want him to leave her mind because he certainly hadn’t left her heart. Not even after all these months of being apart from each other, of not speaking, of just seeing him on the television and occasionally at benefits and award shows. But still they had no contact, they’d cut them off when they’d lost each other, and that had been months ago. Yet, he still wouldn’t leave her, she still thought about him all the time, and her heart still refused to give up on the love she’d had for him. The love she still felt for him.
Who was this mysterious person that could keep her up like this without even being there? Well that would be none other than the rather infamous Shane Grey of Connect 3. He was the front man of one of the most popular bands in the country, had millions of girls ogling and lusting after him, and he’d once upon a time been the love of her life. Once upon a time he hadn’t been Shane Grey to her; he’d been just plain old Shane, the guy who’d stolen her heart. The guy who still had her heart even if he didn’t know it and she wouldn’t admit it to anyone but herself. But yes, once upon a time Shane had swept her off her feet and he’d been her whole world. Once upon a time, Shane Grey had been her real-life prince charming.
It had all started with one fateful summer, two years ago when she’d been sixteen. That summer had changed her life in so many ways, the summer where her dreams had really come true. The summer where, after begging and pleading with her parents for an entire school year Mitchie had actually gotten to attend Camp Rock thanks to her mother’s generous agreement to be the cook there. The only condition to getting to attend was that she had to help out in the kitchens and she’d willingly and wonderfully agreed. And so Had begun her life-changing summer. She’d gotten to go to Camp Rock and be around people who loved the same thing she did; music. She’d even met some really nice people there, people she still kept in contact with to this very day, most importantly at Camp Rock, she’d met Shane Grey.
Mitchie chuckled from her place at the window when she thought of that first meeting with Shane. She’d been covered in flour and trying to hide who she really was and he’d been an absolute jerk. A jerk that she’d quickly told off, and a jerk that had really made a place in her mind and heart at the time. But that was just the first meeting; the second one had been a lot better. She hadn’t been covered in flour and he hadn’t been as much of a jerk. In fact, Mitchie had stumbled upon him as he’d been playing a song and he’d only snapped at her once. It had been remarkable and they’d actually had a conversation, one that had once more imprinted itself in her brain. Their third meeting was what had allowed Shane Grey to start to make an impression on Mitchie’s heart. He’d found her on the way from the kitchens and had actually taken her out by the lake and played her a song that he’d written. That song had just touched her in ways that she still couldn’t describe even now that she knew it was about her but when she’d first heard it, the sound had been so raw, the lyrics so heartfelt that it left an impression on her. That had been the beginning of her slight crush on Shane Grey. Ok, it was more than a slight crush but what girl didn’t have a crush on some member of Connect 3?
Their fourth meeting had turned that crush into full blown attraction because by that time she and Shane had formed some sort of odd friendship. She’d come upon him writing a song and they’d somehow ended up going on a canoe ride on the lake. That meeting had made Mitchie Torres full on fall for the Shane she was getting to know, not the Pop Star version, but the one who’d been screwed over by his dreams. The one that was amazingly nice, funny, and liked her, actually liked her, plain old Mitchie Torres. But there was a catch to this all important liking; Shane had caught onto the lie that she’d told to the rest of the camp. The one that she’d told to fit in with everyone else, a lie that hadn’t really served any purpose. The lie that had really just created more harm than good because shortly after that fourth meeting her lie had been exposed by Tess Tyler. That lie had caused Shane to explode in anger because he’d thought she was different, thought she wasn’t like the kind of girls that always clung to him, the kind of people that wouldn’t use him. But she’d lied to fit in, lied about what her mother did, and that lie had been found out by the entire camp. But at the time Mitchie hadn’t cared about the entire camp, all she’d cared about was Shane and the broken look in his eyes and the yelling he’d been doing in that moment.
Mitchie felt her body shudder as that particular memory washed over her mind because it was one that still made her feel incredibly hurt to this day because that day could safely be classified as one of the worst in her short eighteen years of life. Yes in that day Mitchie had not only managed to lose the trust of almost the entire camp but she’d also broken Shane Grey. Shane Grey, the boy she’d started to develop major feelings for, the one who made her feel things she’d never felt for a boy, the one who’d managed to break her at the same time she’d broken him with the yelling and the storming off. Of course she hadn’t and still couldn’t blame him for it at the time; she’d lied to him, hurt him deeply, but that hadn’t stopped her heart from breaking as he’d walked away. She’d broken down after that, had been whisked away by Caitlyn to her cabin and had spent one of the worst nights of her life crying on Caitlyn’s shoulder and just thinking about how she’d gone wrong. In fact part of her had wanted to leave Camp Rock straight after that incident but she’d been convinced to stay by Caitlyn and her mother.
Mitchie felt herself smiling at that memory as she moved her curtains back even further and leaned against the chilly surface of the window. She was grateful to both her best friend and her mother for making her stay at Camp Rock because despite all the hurt and pain that the lie had caused her last few days there had been the best of her entire summer. Instead of being a lackie for Tess Tyler, the Camp’s Queen B she’d actually gotten to be herself. She’d managed to make amends with some of the camper’s and had actually started to come out of the shy shell she’d built around herself. The only problem had been that Shane hadn’t wanted to even look at her, thereby breaking her heart even more than it already had been at the time. But she’d done her best to get over it because Shane had every right to be mad at her, so she forced herself to not think about it. She forced herself to immerse her mind in being with the new friend she was starting to make thanks to Caitlyn.
Caitlyn. Mitchie had to grin at the thought of her Best Friend; she’d gone to so much trouble after the lie had been exposed to get her to open up. Mitchie was convinced that those few days had cemented the close friendship they were lucky to have now. The close friendship that had actually caused Caitlyn to convince her to perform at the Camp’s Final Jam all by herself, well actually, the real convincer was the mix that Caitlyn had done for the song she was going to sing. A song that had forever changed her life, in good and bad ways, a song that almost hadn’t gotten to be performed at Final Jam because of Tess Tyler and her wicked plans to stop Mitchie from dominating the Camp or something along those lines.
Mitchie nearly laughed out loud at that memory because even though she and Caitlyn had been banned from Final Jam that really hadn’t stopped them. In fact, even though it had devastated them at first, they’d gotten even more determined to perform and actually had pretty much insisted that they do so at the end of Final Jam. The clue that Brown, their Camp Director, had given them and one that they’d gratefully caught onto before it had been too late; a clue that had actually ended up changing both her life and Caitlyn’s for the better.
Mitchie had gotten up on stage and sang her heart out despite the crippling stage fright that had gripped her before she’d performed, but the second she’d opened her mouth to sing something had taken over. Sure she’d been shy at first but that lasted all of two minutes before the adrenaline and absolute high that came with performing had taken her over and she’d really let the message of her song sink into her psyche. ‘This Is Me’ had really been about showing the world, or at least Camp Rock what she was about, music and really being herself. It was a standout moment in her life to date because that had really started what the past two years had brought her. But there was another reason that it was a standout in her life, that performance had brought Shane to her.
He’d literally jumped up on stage and had perfectly fit in the song he’d played for her by the docks with her own. They’d done an impromptu duet that the crowd had loved and had led to them making up. The music had all been a cause of it, and straight after they’d done the Jam Session, Shane had whisked her away to the docks and they’d set out on a two hour canoe ride together. A canoe ride that had led to her apologizing over and over, explaining why she’d lied, and him apologizing to her for acting like a jerk and not letting her explain in the first place. They’d then started over and gotten to know each other, this time as just Mitchie and Shane, no lies, no pretenses, just two teenagers that cared for each other.
Cared for each other. Mitchie nearly snorted at that thought. She and Shane had more than cared for each other. In fact by the end of that canoe ride Shane had told her that he wanted to be more than friends because he’d been falling for his ‘girl with the voice’ all summer and it was fate that she was that girl. After he’d said that, Mitchie vaguely recalled blushing and then experiencing the single most amazing kiss of her short life. A kiss that still made her shiver to this day because for all the tenderness and caring that Shane had put into it there still had been a unmasked veil for the passion he felt. It was like his music, except more intimate because that kiss had been for her and no one else. That kiss had caused her to confess her own feelings for him and by the time they’d left that lake, at nearly one in the morning, they were together as a couple, and she was the happiest she’d ever been. She had made amazing friends in Caitlyn, Barron, Sander, and Lola, and then she’d gained an amazing boyfriend in the process.
But that night hadn’t only been about her gaining Shane as a major part of her life, it had really been about the start of her life. Straight after she and Shane had emerged from their canoe rides Nate and Jason had tracked them down with Caitlyn and had practically dragged them back to Brown’s office. There in Brown’s office, Mitchie had found her parents and representatives of Coolstone Records, the very label that had signed Connect 3 years earlier. Right then and there, in Brown’s office those very representatives had offered Mitchie the chance of a lifetime in signing a record label while at the same time offering Caitlyn a chance to produce on hers and Connect 3’s new album. Right then and there Mitchie’s life changed instantly because she’d jumped at the chance to live her dreams and what made it even better was having Shane there beside her, squeezing her hand, and then later whispering words of praise in her ear, of hope, of endearments that only he would ever call her.
So Camp Rock had been the start of the whirlwhind that Mitchie was still on to this very day. The next day, Coolstone had flown Caitlyn and her out to LA along with their respective parents to sign all the paperwork. Shane, Jason, and Nate had been there the entire time making sure Coolstone was giving Mitchie the freedom they never had on their debut album as well as having meetings of their own about the new sound they were going to. Those few days had been ridiculously busy for everyone involved, because after the paperwork had been signed Mitchie and Caitlyn had been thrust into meetings together and separately to talk about their projects.
But somehow, despite the madness she and Shane had managed to go out on their first official date, and then a second date, and somehow had squeezed a third lunch date out of the five days she’d been in LA. Those three dates had been some of the most amazing of her life, hell any date with Shane was amazing, but those first three held a special place in her heart. Perhaps it was because he’d been so caring, or so romantic, or maybe it was just a combination of everything, she didn’t know. All Mitchie did know was that those three dates were special, as was all her time with Shane was. She’d been happy and carefree and about to live her dreams.
Dreams that had taken off rather rapidly after those first few meetings; within a month after signing those papers her parents had literally picked up and moved everything to a quiet suburb outside of LA so she could record her album. And record her album she did, with Caitlyn; together they worked tirelessly, she constantly writing and Caitlyn always wanting to try new things. They’d made a fierce pair in the studio because they bounced off each other so well and didn’t take no for an answer when they wanted something. For two sixteen year olds they were fairly intimidating in the studio, and surprisingly the label listened when they wanted something. Connect 3 and their demand to have a say in their careers had had a profound effect on the way they treated their artists, and for that Mitchie would always be grateful.
Now despite the hard work she'd put into her debut album, Mitchie always made sure to balance out that hard work with Shane and he did the same for her.
Shane. His name still sent a shiver down her spine as she thought of those past days when she’d been so happy; when they’d been together and carefree. They’d just two teenagers living their dreams and falling in love with the other. They’d had their ups and downs, but in the end Mitchie and Shane had always come out stronger than before. At sixteen years old, when Mitchie was in a completely new world, she’d been certain about two things: Shane and their relationship. When she was having a rough day at the studio he was there to rub her shoulders and tell her everything was ok. When she was tired and cranky, he served as her pillow to sleep on. When she was upset, he was the shoulder she cried on. Shane guided her through the turmoil’s that Hollywood had to offer by staying close to her, but still made sure that she had space to see it for herself.
In turn Mitchie had served as his buffer. She kept him from killing Nate or Jason when one of them got him angry. She acted as his pillow when he was tired from a long flight. She let him yell when he needed to let out his frustrations. When he needed someone to run songs by she was there for him. She tried to keep him sane and like himself in the crazy business they were both involved in. They were each other’s best friends as well as involved in a relationship.
For awhile their relationship had been wonderful, yes they were both busy but they made time for each other when working on their respective albums. They always had date nights, they experienced new things together. It was everything Mitchie could have hoped for in a relationship. They were each other’s equals and while they were by no means perfect they were happy. Aside from music, Shane was a major part of her world and he definitely occupied a large part of her heart and she did the same for him. They fell in love and loved each other more than she would ever describe in words.
So how had Mitchie ended up alone at this very moment in time? How had she and Shane ended up losing the relationship they’d once held so dear? Well the answer to that was simple, or at least if you asked Mitchie it was simple. They, like many Hollywood relationships suffered from lack of time together. The very moment they’d both gotten done with their respective albums they’d had to do a whirlwind of different promotional things. Shane went off with Nate and Jason to get the country ready for their new sound and Mitchie to establish herself as an artist in the music business. Both of these things involved playing and doing press that often kept both her and Shane in different cities. But they’d known that this part was coming, and they kept in touch through phone calls, text messages, and video chatting every night. Shane flew in to see her small club shows whenever he could and she in turn would go and see his big shows when she had a free moment in her schedule. After their respective concerts they would always catch-up over a late-dinner or very early breakfast. They’d kiss for what seemed like forever and then they’d go back to their schedules before repeating it all over again when they got the chance.
They’d thought that they could maintain their relationship like that, keep it strong, and for awhile they did. In fact their relationship had just reached the year mark when things really started to happen. Things that had really caused them to break and then just fall apart. You see what happened after that one year anniversary? Mitchie’s self-titled debut album, that had already nabbed a number one single with ‘This is Me’, was released and to her surprise but no-one else’s was a huge success, both critically, and commercially. She managed to nab the number one spot on the Billboard charts and suddenly things took off. She became high in demand on the performance scene and had set off on tour almost immediately to promote the album. But once again she and Shane had kept up their phone conversations, text messages, and e-mails. He’d even gotten out to see her at a show once or twice before Connect 3’s own sophomore album had been released four weeks after her own. They’d of course gone to number one instantly and were off on their own tour.
But Mitchie hadn’t been able to see one of their shows because she’d been so busy with her own tour at the time. She hadn’t been able to see Shane, and he hadn’t been able to see her because of their ridiculously busy schedules. For awhile they talked constantly, for awhile they were still strong as ever. But that was only for awhile, about one year and four months after their romance began Mitchie and Shane started to lose contact. Their phone calls slowly went from three times a day to just once a week, and then once every two weeks. The e-mails came once a month at best and the texts were well almost non-existent. But still, Mitchie had held on, Shane had held on, because she knew that they both hadn’t wanted to let go of what they had, even if it had been falling apart at the seams. Mitchie just refused to acknowledge it, but then, on the exact day that she and Shane had been together for one year and six months, a day when she and Shane finally had a break from their schedules they finally met. They were finally alone, and then they were finally able to talk. It had been him to start the discussion, the one that revolved around how they never talked, and how they just weren’t what they used to be. She’d stupidly agreed with him, but had said that she still loved him. He said he felt the same way but he didn’t want to put them both through the pain they were going through. She once again, stupidly agreed with him, and together, though she’d cried and he’d held her for a good long while, they decided that it was time to end their relationship. It was a mutual decision but one that had aand still cut her like a knife when she thought of it.
It was a decision that Mitchie still regretted to this very day and she knew that it was one of the reasons that she was still up at this god awful hour. It was one of the reasons that she was at her window in the apartment she and Caitlyn had bought together five months ago. One of the reasons she was staring at the sky, the one that she and Shane used to look at every night they were together because they both loved the mystery that the night could bring. Yes Shane Grey was the reason for a lot of things, he’d been the reason for so much in her life, it had been six months since they’d broken up and no matter how hard she tried she still couldn’t get him out of her mind.
Mitchie Torres had changed quite a bit in those last six months. She’d turned eighteen years old, had begun working on her second album, had gotten an apartment with Caitlyn and was an all around more mature person. But the one thing that hadn’t changed was the fact that Shane was still in her stupid mind, that she still cried herself to sleep at night because he wasn’t there to wish her goodnight. Had she tried dating ever since the break-up? Of course. She’d gone on a couple dates since that fateful day, all ones set up by Caitlyn with nice guys who she’d get along with. Ones she should’ve liked a lot but there was one problem; they weren’t Shane Grey. They didn’t make a spark ignite in her; they didn’t make her go insane because of how she felt. They didn’t make her feel like floating on air; they just didn’t compare to what she had had with Shane.
“God how I hate him,” she muttered to herself. She really did hate him for doing this to her, for making her unable to feel with anyone else besides him. For making her still love him even after six months of avoiding him, of not talking to him, of trying to get over him. For just being there and not going away. But once again, Mitchie had to curse her own heart because when she thought about it, she honestly didn’t want him to leave her heart. The memories of him were entirely good, the feelings entirely too real that she didn’t want her reality. No, she wanted a dream; she still wanted Shane, with her, loving her, being with her. She wanted their relationship back, had wanted it since the day after the break-up but she hadn’t had the nerve to call him. He’d made good points and she knew that if he wanted this she had to respect it. But lately, Mitchie had been thinking about him more and more. She knew it was because of the dates she’d been going on, and because what would’ve been their two-year anniversary was approaching fast.
Like it or not, Shane Grey had been on her mind a lot lately, more so than he normally was. He haunted her dreams, made her want him so much that it ached, yet she was still was too nervous to go after him. What if he’d moved on? What if he just didn’t want her? She was not in the mood to have her heart broken by him again but lately she’d been thinking, what if she tried?
“I just wish that I could have some sort of sign that doing it might actually be alright,” she muttered to the night, not really expecting anything in return. But to her surprise, right after she’d said the words a shooting star decided to actually make itself known in the now nearly covered LA night sky. That sight was rare in itself, beautiful to see, and it also seemed to spur Mitchie’s inner confidence. She suddenly found her heart spewing the thoughts and ideas it’d been having for months about Shane Grey straight into her brain and for the moment her logical side was shutting down. Suddenly Mitchie knew exactly what she wanted and that was to stop wanting Shane back, to stop hurting, to stop crying herself to sleep. No, Mitchie Torres needed to stop those things and she was going to. She had to, and it was with this thought in mind that she quickly through a sweatshirt on over the tank top and sweats she had on, grabbed a pair of flip flops and her purse and then headed out of her room. She took a moment to scribble a note to Caitlyn, who still hadn’t come home from her date with Nate, about where she’d gone and what she was doing and then set out, car keys in hand towards the dark LA night.
Mitchie wanted to get the spark back with Shane or she wanted her heart back. Either way she was going to talk to him at the least, see him, and if anything get some closure. But as she reached her car, she was honestly praying for something more than closure. She wanted a new beginning.
As always, feedback is greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading.