Disclaimer: I don't own PR but SABAN DOES!
AN: Well this is certainly a different thing from me. Different character from normal, different topic, but I'm proud of this. It's an exploration into something many of us fans hate to address but it still happened. It was inspired by the song "The Mess I Made" by the amazing Parachute. Give it a listen if you get the chance.
She didn't think it would hurt this much to see him again. She didn't think it would feel like she was choking on air to see that he had moved on with someone else. Part of her wanted to march right up to where he was hugging her and rip the two of them apart but she wouldn't. It wasn't her place anymore because he wasn't hers anymore. She had given up any claim she had to him months ago with that letter.
The letter. Now infamous among their friends but rarely spoken about because it was like walking on eggshells around both of them. It was a sore spot with her; it was a rough spot with him, and just not mentioning it was easier for all of them right now. What was not easy was this moment, being so close to him yet so far away. This was the first time they had seen each other in months, the first time they had uttered more than two words to the other. It figured it would take something like the world ending to bring them together again. It was like the universe was laughing her face because that's what had initially brought them together.
For a few minutes everything had seemed alright again. They had been working together, focused on a single goal; save Jason from falling to his death and then save the world. It had been like the good old days and it had seemed so ok. But then it had faded with the adrenaline of battle. He had barely looked at her since; she couldn't find the words to say to him.
This was all of her fault.
She didn't regret going to
So she had sent him the letter, directly to the youth center, a bitch move she knew but at the time she had thought it would be a good idea. When she had tried to write it she had been crying so much that she had ruined the first three drafts and thought that if he were near their friends it would be easier to take. She could have called him but in her heart she had known that if that had happened his voice would have convinced her to keep trying. She would have caved.
He had called her six times after getting the letter. She had ignored every single call. She had deleted every message on her answering machine and thrown out the letter he'd written her in return.
She learned he had moved on with someone else a month ago. Jason had mentioned it in passing during one of their weekly chats but she had remained strong. She had said that was great for him, that he deserved to be happy like she was. What her friend didn't know was that she had cried herself to sleep that night because it meant it was really over between them. She had ended it with the other guy two weeks after the letter because she had felt so guilty.
She had contemplated calling him after that. Had almost done it, had the phone in her hand so many times but put it down. Jason had relayed how badly she had hurt him and the last thing she needed was to add to that pain. The sad thing is she knew if they had just talked for a little while that things wouldn't be as they were now. They wouldn't be painful and awkward and maybe just maybe she would have gotten as second chance.
But that chance had never come. He had taken his heart back from her when he had moved on and as she looked at him now, she could see he was close to giving it to another. She recognized the look in his eyes.
She'd once had that look. She barely had anything now.
She had really made a mess of things and for the first time in what felt like forever, Kim had no idea how to fix things, she didn't even know if she could. This wasn't something morphing or calling on her zord would help, not something a few well-placed smiles and wardrobe choices would get her out of. She had made this mess, made her bed, and she had to live with the consequences.
She just hoped that they would be friends again someday. She missed that most of all.
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