Disclaimer: Nope, still don't own Suits. I just own Susanna.
AN: Thank you for your lovely reviews. I smile at each and every one of them.
Kyle sat in the file room, hunched over a desk in there because he honestly didn't want to deal with people today. All he wanted to do was get through the day, file the things Louis wanted filed, and then go home because he and Susanna had plans to have a Star Wars marathon. She had never seen the original episodes and that was a crime if Kyle had ever heard one.
He had plans to have a good night after a rather hellacious week. He had plans to help Susanna with baby furniture tomorrow on his day off, and by help he meant he'd be doing the moving with her friends as she stood and pointed. He liked days like that. He liked the time he managed to spend with Susanna. It was what was getting him through the incessant monotony of today. Kyle sighed and focused on his work and prayed that quitting time would come sometime before eleven.
And then he heard a throat clear.
He looked up to find Donna standing in the doorway, arms crossed, eyebrow raised, and her gaze focused right on him. She reminded him of a lioness assessing her prey. Kyle tensed and said a silent prayer that he would survive this encounter.
"Mike isn't here," Kyle told her quickly.
"I know that, he's out with
"Why?" Kyle asked cautiously.
"Because I need to tell you about the most interesting thing I saw at the Greatest Cake Bakery this morning," she began. "I was there getting my morning coffee and scone, visiting with a friend and care to guess what I saw?"
Kyle froze. The bakery this morning, where he and Susanna had gone for breakfast before heading to work, where they had sat tucked against each other on a corner couch so they could properly hear each other as they fought over what cereal, lucky charms or captain crunch was better. This was however beside the point because Donna had seen them together. Which meant she would tell Specter and Ross and Kyle was fucked. He wasn't ashamed of their friendship, he could never be ashamed of being with Susanna, but they'd been trying to keep it out of the way because of her case. He wasn't breaking any laws or anything but he had a feeling that Jessica Pearson might not be too happy with him.
That was if Jessica Pearson would be able to find his body after Donna was through with him..
"What did you see there?" he asked casually. Donna tapped her foot.
"I saw this baby lawyer there with someone he shouldn't be," she
replied. "And then I thought he can't possibly be dumb enough to try and
steal her away from Harvey and Mike because
"I'm not thinking about doing anything," Kyle countered. "Susanna is a good friend. It's not against the law to be friends with someone. And she's not my client so I'm not breaking any rules for the firm. We ran into each other after that first meeting and…I don't know I enjoy being around her. I think she likes being around me too. We're friends Donna. That's all. I'm not trying to do anything."
"Friends," Donna's eyes narrowed but Kyle refused to look away.
"Yes, friends," he replied.
"So she's the one that you've been having those good lunches with, the reason you're less of an asshole than usual."
"I…what?" Kyle asked.
"It's true," Donna nodded. "I've been watching you for the past few days and every time you come back from lunch outside the firm you're happier, lighter and I'm thinking it's because of her."
"I…probably," Kyle shrugged. "I…enjoy spending my time with her. She's…different."
"She's special you mean," Donna had a little glint in her eye now, Kyle was scared and confused. "I started thinking about it and then Mozzie pointed out that from the way you two were seated and looking at each other that you had to know each other very well. Do you?"
"Yes," Kyle replied. "I like to think so is all and…what do you mean special? Of course she's special, she's Susie Q."
Kyle had no idea where that had come from and he had apparently even surprised Donna given the way she was eying him. He was very confused now. Confused and what was he doing? He should be trying to get away from Donna not saying things that he liked to keep to himself, keep buried because it was safer that way.
"You like her," Donna told him. "And from what I saw she likes you too."
"I…she does?" Kyle asked and that was not hope in his voice. No it wasn't, he did not hope for things that were impossible. "That's…it's a nice thought but it's not possible."
"Because she's pregnant?"
"That's not it at all," Kyle breathed. "I…it doesn't bother me that she's pregnant."
He'd be lying if he didn't entertain that thought but after some deliberating he'd decided that he honestly didn't care about the fact. The sperm donor as Susanna so lovingly called him was just a prick she'd slept with once and then had left town when she'd told him she was pregnant. Susanna had since moved on from said sperm donor and Kyle, after offering to hunt him down, had done so after Susie Q had just rolled her eyes.
"Really? Because a child is a big deal…her child would be someone you commit to forever," Donna warned.
Kyle had to agree. It was a big commitment but he was fairly certain that he had already agreed to be part of this kid's life in the way he helped Susanna put baby furniture together last weekend, in the way he'd hung out with her hippy friends when they'd painted the nursery and actually enjoyed himself. As far as he was concerned he was involved already and the thing about it all was that he was happy and excited about meeting this baby.
"I'm already involved," he told Donna. "I like hearing about the baby, I like helping her get ready for the baby, and I'm honestly excited to meet this kid soon. But that's beside the point. I'm not what she needs."
"And what does she need?"
"Someone who can be there for her more than I can, not someone who works eighty-hour work weeks like I do. She doesn't need someone to take care of her or the baby, she can do that all on her own, but someone to be with her," he told her and what the hell? What was he saying? He should not be…yes he'd thought about it, about her, about them, but it was something that stayed in his thoughts alone.
"Oh sweetie….you are so far gone it's not even funny," Donna chuckled. Kyle startled. "And from everything you've told me…from what I saw this morning I think you might be surprised as to what Susanna wants in a partner."
"I can't be…"
"Like you said, she doesn't need someone to take care of her or the baby," Donna interrupted. "She needs someone who challenges her, who lets her do her own thing, who spends time with her whenever he has a free moment and oh who does that sound like?"
Kyle was silent as Donna's words washed over him, through him and he may or may not have started panicking and wondering why Donna made so much sense. Oh god, what was happening?
"You're in denial," Donna sang. "It's almost cute. Almost. Want some advice?"
"I'd love some," Kyle said. Donna gave him a look that was akin to sympathy. "Why are you offering?"
"I personally prefer the Kyle we've been getting around here lately," Donna shrugged. "And we women have to stick together. This is as much for Susanna as it is for you."
"So what do you suggest Captain?" he asked, Donna almost smiled at him.
"I suggest getting off of your ass and doing something about it before she gets taken by someone else," she told him and Kyle felt himself shift. The idea of Susanna in a relationship with someone else was more than a little unsettling. Far more unsettling than the feelings he wasn't used to. "And there's that burst of energy you need. Now Kyle, let it be known that I am indeed merciful but if you hurt her or her child in any way, shape, or form I will make sure you see exactly what I can do with my pretty new black belt and my contacts on the streets. Got it?"
Kyle nodded as she turned and walked out of the room. He let out a breath of relief before he realized something; Donna had just put everything into perspective, his world was less fuzzy, he was clearer. He still had no idea what he was going to do but he would do something soon.
Huh, maybe she was lost deity. Or Kyle had lost his fucking mind. Probably a combination of both, either way he made an even bigger mental note than before to never piss that woman off.
Kyle knew that he should be nervous right now, that he should be fidgeting and babbling and all sorts of things that were not normal. He knew he should be all of these things when confronted with the object of his affection/feelings/whatever the fuck he wanted to label them but he wasn't. Kyle was actually, surprisingly, really calm because movie nights are normal with them now. Lots of things are normal for them right now.
But at the moment Kyle had Susanna tucked against his side, a pillow between them for her stomach, her head on his chest. An empty pizza box was on the coffee table and The Wrath of Khan had just finished on the screen. Kyle was comfortable and not nervous and this was so strange and inot normal/i.
Then again since when had he and Susanna ever been normal?
"You still awake Susie Q?" he prodded when he felt her head lounging against his shoulder. She just looked up at him, smiled and reached over and took one of his hands and put it on her stomach. "Susie Q what are you…oh," he breathed when he felt a steady pulse against the palm of his hand. "Oh wow is that…is that the baby?" he asked as another pulse, harder this time pushed against his hand.
"Yes," she replied. "Been pretty active all night actually."
"I….wow," he didn't know what else he could possibly say. He had never been allowed to do this with her before, had never asked because it was her stomach and her baby but this was just unreal. Kyle was kind of speechless; a first for him because he always had something to say to Susanna, always but this was it was something alright.
"If I had to guess I'd say you were getting kicked," she giggled. Kyle just shrugged.
"Strong," he noted as he moved his hand against her stomach, Susanna didn't stop him, and he loved this newfound freedom. "Future soccer star, or maybe a runner," he paused to chuckle as he felt another push. "Or whatever he or she wants to be?" he looked up at Susanna whose mouth was quirked into a smile as she moved her hand to rest on top of his. His hand felt warmer and Kyle found himself wondering why her skin was so much softer compared to his.
"Good answer," she replied as her fingers tapped on the back of his hand. At first Kyle thought that she wanted her space again, but she shook her head, he left it there. "I think the baby likes you."
"Well obviously," he scoffed as he flexed his fingers against her stomach, pure fascination at what he was doing. "I'm awesome."
"Annnd there's that Harvard attitude."
"Don't you listen to your mommy," Kyle gave Susanna a pointed look before he turned his attentions back to her stomach. He knew he probably looked ridiculous but there was a tiny iperson/i inside of Susanna and it was real. Before it had been there, but now Kyle was literally feeling the proof against his hand. It was strange to feel it but exciting all at the same time. And hey babies could hear from the womb. "Harvard is a great place to go to college. You can go to school there."
"I'm sorry?" Susanna asked. Kyle grinned as he looked up at her.
"Clearly you have a future Harvard graduate on your hands," he nodded towards her stomach. He got another kick and Susanna rolled her eyes even though she was smiling.
"Let me get through the birth first and then we'll see about Harvard alright?" she offered, Kyle nodded, appeased for the moment.
"We can go visit sometime. They have reunion weekends that a lot of us go to," he replied, she looked at him oddly.
"Really?" she asked.
"Yeah, we can go, it's a beautiful campus, great area and…why are you looking at me like that?"
"You want to take me to see Harvard?" she asked him carefully and Kyle nodded.
"It'd be fun," he offered. "I usually go back around Christmas time, my frat house does something and it's usually really nice and intimate. Maybe…maybe you'd like to go? We can bring the baby; get out of the city for a few days."
She had a funny look on her face and Kyle was really and genuinely baffled. Susanna was due in a few weeks and by the time Christmas rolled around the baby would be old enough to take a car trip.
"One: Why does it not surprise me that you were part of a fraternity? And two: I thought…I thought you wouldn't want to be saddled with a new mom and a newborn," she pushed a stand of hair behind her ear and bit her lip, and Kyle frowned because this was not how things like this were supposed to go.
He could see where she would get the idea and if you had asked him two months ago, he would have agreed with the statement. Obviously things had changed a lot since then, he had changed. He turned his hand over and letting her hand fall into his. Palm to palm, and he squeezed, she returned the gesture as he looked at her. Her eyes said a lot, her posture, the way he could see the nerves and something more there. That something more was what he needed to take Donna's advice and do something about this situation before someone else did.
"Fraternities are nothing to be ashamed of," he began. "And the way I see it, I'm not going to be saddled with anything Susie Q because it's…I'm already involved here," he breathed. "And more importantly, I want to be involved."
"You shouldn't want that," she muttered. "And I shouldn't want it either."
"But you do?" he asked and yep there was hope in his voice but who cared? He wanted this and she did too. Kyle had to convince Susanna that he was worth a chance.
"I don't know why," she sighed. "It's a bad idea on so many levels Harvard. We shouldn't."
"Probably not, but…what if I want to anyway?" he asked. "I realize that I'm not…ideal but hey neither are you."
"Because that's what ever girl wants to hear," she muttered.
"Susie Q if I said what every girl wanted to hear you would slap me and march right out of here," he pointed out. "Because you are not every girl. You're sarcastic as all hell and stubborn and a hippy."
"I wouldn't slap you," she huffed. "I'd probably kick you because you," she poked his chest. "Are a stubborn asshole who borders on ridiculous sometimes."
"Yeah I am," he replied. "I admit that I'm no picnic but you certainly aren't either."
"What about the baby?" she asked. "The baby is the most important part of my life."
"Did I ask you to make me that?" he countered, she shook her head. "I wouldn't want to be the most important part of your life. That should be your child. I know that. And…if something happens to us…if we somehow fuck this up…just keep in mind that I'm not the guy who got you pregnant. I'm not just going to leave."
"He has nothing to do with this," Susanna said but Kyle moved on because they had to hash this out now before anything else happened.
"I know you said you've moved on, I believe you, but you need to understand that I'm not him, that I don't shirk away from my commitments."
"You're worlds apart from him," she assured from him. "A stubborn asshole you may be but you're ten times the man he was. But this baby isn't your commitment."
"The second we got involved he or she becomes part of the one I make to you and like I said if we fuck this up somehow which is possible because we both know we kind of suck at relationships," he chuckled when she rolled her eyes. "I'm still going to be here. I may be an ass but I'd never take it out on an innocent kid."
There was silence between them for a few minutes.
"This is such a bad idea but fuck it," Susanna mumbled and then her lips were on his and her arms were around his neck and they were kissing and she crawled into his lap and life was really freaking good. It got better when he got to bury his hands in that soft blonde hair of hers. It upped itself when she used her teeth on his bottom lip and then it got near perfection when he got to push his tongue against hers. "Bad idea," she gasped when he pulled away to breathe.
"Like I said, probably," he shrugged. "We're probably crazy."
"You're crazy," she poked his chest, he chuckled and nodded.
"So are you," he grinned.
"You're not…going to tell me you love me are you?" she asked carefully. He snorted and shook his head.
"No, nothing like that, at least not right now," he mused thoughtfully. "But I like you. I think…I'd like to see where it heads."
"Well we have been kind of dating for the past few weeks haven't we?" she mused. "Huh…how did I not notice that I was dating an asshole."
"Hey! I am not an asshole," he was indignant, Susanna looked unimpressed. "Ok I'm still an asshole but I'm better than I was."
"Ok I'll give you that Harvard," she conceded. "So we're doing this?"
"Yeah, I think we are Susie Q," Kyle grinned when her nose wrinkled at the nickname and then all out laughed when he felt a kick against his abdomen. "Junior here likes the idea."
"Well I want you to kiss me again. Now," she demanded.
How could he possibly ignore a request like that?
I think I rewrote this chapter no less than five times before I was happy with the outcome. I honestly don't know when I got so invested in Kyle's state of mind/happiness.
Thank you for reading, feedback is always appreciated.